Not Being Myself

hI don’t like how I feel right now.  Does this sound familiar? Or I don’t feel like myself today.  These and other terms are used to describe how we feel when we have lost our space.  Losing our space means our energy is out of whack and we are out of sync.

Most of us sigh in frustration when we feel this way then move on with our day while feeling out of sorts.  This can be disastrous.  Disastrous is such a strong term but I mean it.  When we are out of sorts, not feeling right, etc. it means we are not being ourselves.   This means we also do not have perspective or control of our energy.  We may act and react in ways that are not typical for us and make decisions that we would not ordinarily make.

When our energy is disturbed in some way we are likely to do more harm than good because we are not being ourselves.  We are being the effect of an energy disturbance in our space.

The causes of disruption, disturbance or changes in our energy are varied.  It could be the result of an experience we had recently, a conversation, a meeting, etc. in which the energy caused a change in our energy.  Most likely someone’s energy got into our space causing a change in our flow.  Maybe someone whacked you meaning they threw energy at you in anger, frustration or competition.  Perhaps we had an experience that greatly disturbed us personally or professionally causing our energy to react.

Energy disruptions can also be caused by changes in the body.  For women it can be their cycle.  For all of us it might be our diet, lack of exercise, medications, drugs, alcohol, lack of sleep, etc.

There are so many causes. It is important to realize when we are out of sorts and not just go with it.  The good news is it is easy to change our energy and get our space back to being ourselves.   One of my clients, Claire, left me a message yesterday.  She is in the throes of a big project and she has learned working with me that her energy changes under pressure going from an otherwise pleasant business owner to a raging boss.  Always in the aftermath she regrets her behavior and declares that is not who she is, trying to convince her staff of that as they stare in amazement wondering, “Who is that?”

I recall I was in a meeting representing an organization in a multi-million dollar class action suit and I could tell that two men in the room were lying.  That was a trigger for me.  I am all about fairness and truth so when people are being dishonest I lose my space and my awareness.  I started to challenge them vehemently.  Our attorney touched my arm and asked that we step outside.  She pointed out how out of control I was and that I needed to get my space back.  I explained to her they were lying.  She understood that I was intuitive but that there was no evidence they could point out at this time so I had to bide my time.  Suddenly I realized how much I had lost my space and was not being myself.    What is a trigger for you?

Jim called me asking for help.  He had just finished a phone call with a colleague and he felt buzzed and could not think straight.  After working with me on this business he has come to realize that he needs to stop when things don’t feel right and set them straight.  I saw intuitively that the person he was speaking with was trying so hard to convince him of something that he placed all his energy in Jim’s space making Jim feel not like himself.  This is not logical but it is very intuitive.  We all have had this experience many times.

Regardless of the cause it is important to our success personally and professionally to realize when we do not feel right or not ourselves and do something about it immediately before we create trouble for ourselves.  Changing our energy or getting our space back is easy.  Being aware that we have lost our space and taking the steps to stop and fix it is the tougher challenge.

Should you decide to stop and change your space it is quite simple.  I suggest meditation.  It could be five minutes or an hour whatever it takes.  Meditation is simply stopping, quieting the body, clearing our thinking and resetting our space.  These are intuitive terms that don’t mean much until you experience it so try this now even if you feel like you have your space.  It will make things even better.

Meditation Exercise:

  • Sit in a comfortable and quiet place.
  • Take a deep breath, release and begin to relax the body (repeat often).
  • Close your eyes and focus on yourself, bringing your attention from out there somewhere back to you.
  • When you feel that you are beginning to relax and focus on yourself then be grounded.  Imagine a connection between the base of your spine and the center of the planet.  Take a deep breath, release, relax and feel that connection.  Be grounded.   Repeat until you feel connected and grounded.
  • Now be centered by bringing your attention into the center of your head.  Right now your attention is probably out there somewhere so come into the center of your head.  Notice how that feels and how it changes your perspective.  Keep breath and release.
  • Now get your space back.  By space I am referring to the energy field around you (your aura).  Your energy is probably scattered far and wide from you so imagine calling your energy in around you within arms reach. I know this is not logical.  Just try it.  Imagine that energy field is all around you like a bubble.  Keep calling your aura in until you get a sense of having your energy in around you.  Now to make it real imagine a color on the edge of your space.  A color you enjoy.
  • Now be present in the moment.  Bring all of your attention and awareness into this moment.   Keep doing this until you feel that you are present.  You can imagine releasing down your grounding anyone or anything that comes to mind as you do this.
  • The goal is to be quiet in the body, not thinking and just being aware of yourself in present time.
  • Now meditate on how you want to be in this moment.  You have the ability to change your space and be however you want.  I suggest a high vibration (enthusiasm, inspired, amusement, joy, excitement, etc.)  When you feel like you are yourself and how you want to be then take a deep breath, stretch and come out of meditation

You are ready for your day.  Once you get the hang of it meditation can go easily and quickly until then it make take some time to become comfortable with it.  It is well worth the time.

Best wishes on your success, Kay

If you have any difficulty with this please feel free to contact me to discuss what is in the way of you having your space.  kay@insightintuitiveconsulting.com

Live online meditation

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Change Never Begins Outside of Us

dreamstime_xs_19899077When I begin a coaching session I always ask my client how they are doing.  If they are great  we move on.  If they whine or show their energy is low for one reason or another then I wonder, “Why are they sitting in that energy when they have the ability to change it?”  There is little value in a coaching  someone in apathy, boredom, worry, etc. so we start with changing the space (energy) they are in.  They are always very grateful and relieved.

The energy level we are being determines the outcomes and experiences we have.  Lower vibrations create failure, actions not producing results, problems with communication, etc.  Higher vibrations produce changes, creativity, success, new ideas, new opportunities, etc.

Most often people accept their space as it is for better or for worse.  If they are not feeling great they attribute it to the fight they had with their friend, how they felt after looking at their bank account or after a client called in a complaint.  They accept it and live that day in this energy.  Why?  We can stay in our reaction to things or we can change our space (vibration, energy level).  There is no value in staying at a lower vibration unless we like to suffer or we don’t realize that we can change this.

So let’s state here and now.  We can change our space and how we feel.  We don’t have to solve the problem at hand first.  When we change our energy then the problem at hand goes away or is much easier to solve.   If your energy is typically at a lower vibration then it will take determination to change that habit.  For most of us our energy is great one day and we can conquer the world or low another and we want to skip out on everything.

Why stay at a lower vibration when you have the choice and the ability to be at a higher vibration (energy level, feeling)?  We have free will.  We get to choose.  My sister sent me a plaque that reads “Choose Happy”.  I like that.

We have the ability to decide how we want to be and to change where we are on an energy level to a vibration we want to be.  In this way we are in charge of our creations and our life.  This may not be logical and your logic may be arguing with me but give this a try and see.

  • Start your day with a short (or long) meditation but at the very least do this.
  • Sit upright in a comfortable quiet place (if possible but on the subway if necessary).
  • Take deep breath and relax. Grab your attention from everywhere else and place your attention on yourself.
  • Notice how you are feeling.  Why you are feeling that way does not matter so much
  • Stop thinking.
  • Notice how you are being.  You can feel an energy driving your space already, i.e. enthusiasm, anger, creativity, depression, amusement, worry. etc.
  • Decide if this is how you want to be in this day. If it is them really feel it and enjoy it. If not then change your space!
  • Begin by taking a deep breaths and as you exhale let go of and release the energy that is making you feel that way, i.e. anger, worry, depression.  Don’t think about it or analyze it just imagine letting it do.
  • Once you feel that you have begun to let go of where you are start to imagine how you would like to be.
  • How would you like your day to go?
  • How do you want to feel in your day?
  • Take as much time as you need to do these steps with certainty.
  • Now really feel that way.

When you have reset your space to the vibration you want to be this day then really be that all day.  If you find your energy slipping then stop.  Take a moment and come back to feeling (energy level) you want to be.  You will learn a great deal about your automatic responses to things and ways in which you get in your own way but letting your energy drop.  Success (personally and professionally)  only happens at higher vibrations.

The magic comes when we begin to realize we have the control of our space OR we can choose to just be the effect of what is in our space.  You chose.

Best wishes on your success,  Kay

Learn basic meditation or join an online meditation (no experience needed). Meditation,

React or Respond: Success or Failure

dreamstime_5775817So answer honestly, do you find that you react or respond in most situations?  Perhaps you have not put your attention on the difference.  As a leader in your business, profession or life, it makes all the difference.

We all have energy in our space. What I mean by that is literally, we all have energy in our space.  This is the “charge” we hold from experiences whether positive or negative.  If I have an argument with someone it creates pictures and emotions – a charge in my space.  When I carry that energy with me and communicate to others I am most likely to react in a way I may not intend.

Carol

My client, Carol, told me the story of having a disagreement with her teenage daughter first thing in the morning. She left the issue unresolved and it bothered her as she drove to work.  Her first appointment was with a potential client and she worried about being late.  When she got to her office her secretary looked at her then seemed angry.  Carol thought that was odd because her secretary was level-headed and Carol was actually on-time – barely.  That surprisingly irritated her.  Carol stopped before stepping into the meeting, took a deep breath to make sure she was putting on a good front with smiles and enthusiasm.   The meeting started awkwardly and soon Carol sensed she was not connecting with this potential client.  There seemed to be tension between them so she stopped.  Carol acknowledged the tension and apologized for being distracted by an earlier argument with her daughter.  The client laughed and said, “So that is why I am angry at you and I don’t even know you yet!”.  Her new client intuitively picked up on the anger in Carol’s space and felt angry as well.  Hmmm.   Once the air was clear they started over at the energy level they both wanted in their communication.  He became her client but that is not always the case.

As an intuitive business coach, I asked Carol what happened that made her angry even before her argument with her daughter.  She dug deeper though for another layer to the story.

Reacting vs. Responding

This happens all the time.  We carry energy in our space and it impacts our conversations, relationship, decision-making, health, state of mind, etc.   When we react we are communicating through the energy in our space, the thoughts on our mind, the emotions that are stimulated, etc.  That is why I suggest we take the time to stop, clear our space, release and let go of whatever is on our mind or in our space so that we are responding from a space of clarity to reality in present time.  What is happening now and not how do I perceive what is happening now through the filter of the energy in my space?

Leadership

Responding is important for leadership.  Being clear, without energy and baggage of other experiences clouding our thinking, makes us a better leader in our work and in our life.  So take the time to clear your mind and let go of energy you are holding in your space then step into your life and your work in present time.

Best wishes on your success,  Kay

Learn how to use meditation as a way to clear your mind and energy from your space.

Self-Expression: the Power Behind Your Success

How comfortable are you with self-expression?  Self-expression can be the engine that drives your success.   You may find yourself doing a job, working hard yet not considering even for a moment if you are expressing who you are.  If you find you are irritable, complaining or disappointed about some aspect of your life or your work, notice if you’re lacking the room for self-expression.

Often we give our energies to our job or our work.  That is very different from creating our work spaces from a place of self-expression.  Without analyzing this, I’ll describe the difference as I see it intuitively.

When you put all of your energy (life force energy, creative energy, physical energy, emotional energy, etc.) into your work, then all of your energy leaves your space.  That seems effective at first – until you just don’t feel right and you start to experience a lack of vitality.  You’re not sure exactly what’s wrong, but you know there’s some kind of problem with your work space.

On the other hand, when you see your work as a vehicle for self-expression, your energy level goes up, and you run your life force, creative, physical, and emotional energies in your space as you work.  You feel inspired, creative and enthusiastic. Your energy is moving in your space and its level is high.

These are the mechanics of the power of self-expression. But what is self-expression?  It is simply awareness of self from within, and expressing, showing, experiencing that self in your work, play, life, relationships and all the other aspects of your life

Tapping into your true self, communicating it, and showing it to others requires you to become more aware and to get out of old patterns. It may even feel scary or strange.   Our fear of how others might react to how we express ourselves often keeps us from taking this risk.  Knowing that self-expression is not about seeking approval or validation from others helps change those expectations.

Self-expression may feel risky but the benefits are well worth it.  Making self-expression the driving force in your life changes everything.

Happiness is not coming

  Ben Bernanke, Federal Reserve Chairman, relates our happiness with progress of the economy.  If you are happy then the economy is progressing.  Which came first the chicken or the egg?  For each of us the answer may be different.

This month I focused my work (with clients, online meditations, blogs and webinars) on happiness.  We all say we want it.  We all long for it as if it was something coming in the future. Happiness is not coming in the future.

Happiness is an experience in the moment.  We cannot experience happiness in the past or in the future.  We can only experience it now.  So be happy NOW.   For most the immediate response is to think of all the things that have to happen first before we can be happy.  For example, you will be  happy when you have more money, a better relationship, lost 50 lbs. and a long list of other reasons.  None of this is true but that does not matter.  If we believe it then we make it true.

Interest in happiness has grown recently.  It seems to be more important as our culture evolves.  There is even a new specialty in economics known as happiness studies.   Though money does not buy happiness these studies have determined that the magic number is $75,000 annual income to be happy.  Less than that folks tend to be unhappy.  More than that does not mean you are happier. Interesting.

From an intuitive perspective, when we decide to be happy – in this moment – and we change our energy to the level of happiness in body, mind and spirit everything changes.  Happiness is a high vibration with energy moving.   As a result our ability to act and react to life changes.  We have a different perspective, can see more clearly and make better decisions.  We feel better in our body.   There are other changes we experience when we decide to be at the energy level of happiness.

Sounds wonderful but it is not that easy unless you are genetically inclined to be happy.  For most aside from happy experiences, the idea of just being happy takes some attention.  If we consciously focus on being happy throughout the day things are going to change.   Those changes may not be fun or easy.  Happiness is a high energy level, which hits up against anything in our space that is vibrating at a lower energy level.  It is like putting a spotlight on everything that makes us unhappy.  Then what do we do?   We can decide to stop vibrating at being happy because it makes us aware of places in our lives that make us unhappy.  Or stay at the level of happiness, allow things to change and commit to being happy.

The answer to this is your free will.  If you decide to go for being happy remember:

  • Be happy now
  • Be happy in body, mind and spirit
  • Be willing to let go of old thinking, energy and ways of being
  • Allow change

Being happy is a journey in self discovery and it is a change worth making.

Best wishes,  Kay

Meditation & the Workplace

I ask all of my clients to make meditation part of their day.  The first response I  hear is, “I can’t afford to take the time to meditate!”   My reaction is “You can’t afford not to take the time!”

I see business owners and professionals make poor decisions, react rather than respond in stressful situations and not think straight.  All of these happen when we lose our perspective.  We lose our perspective when we have too much energy in our space, too many demands placed on us and too many people with their energy and ideas in our head.

Things tend to spiral as energy builds in our space.  Meditation is a way to stop, to clear our space and regain perspective.

Successful business owners and professionals know the value of being clear-headed.  Here are a few basic steps for meditation.

  • Close the door.  Sit down.  Take a deep breath and close your eyes.
  • Take another deep breath and release all the tension.  Repeat.
  • Bring your attention on yourself.  Notice how you are doing, what’s on your mind or who is in your space.
  • Take more deep breaths and imagine releasing whatever is in your space, on your mind or in your head.
  • Keep releasing until you feel calm, centered and focused on yourself rather than something or someone else.
  • Now decide how you want to be the rest of the day.  Set your space that way now.

Do this exercise when you feel that you are losing perspective but before you have really lost it!

Let me know if you have any questions or comments on meditation in the workplace.

Best wishes on your success,

Kay

Set energy to success!

Setting Energy

In this blog I look at success from an intuitive perspective.  Intuition involves a set of abilities that we all have but most rarely use or use them unconsciously.  It is my hope that we all open more to our intuition to not only “know” but also realize our ability to create.

Setting Energy

Today’s blog is about setting energy which is one of the core concepts related to intuition.  When we grasp this concept the world is in the palm of our hand.

A Form of Meditation

Setting energy is a form of meditation that can be done each day, meeting, conversation, activity, project, etc.   I can’t imagine engaging in my day without setting energy first.   I can see your minds going a mile a minute trying to wrap your thinking around this.  Well, this is not logical so it is best to stop thinking.  The only way to understand this concept is to experience it.  Meditation is a way to get out of our mind, our logic and open to our intuitive side.

Intuitive Business Consulting

As an intuitive business consultant my time  with all of my clients includes learning this important intuitive technique.  Once you get the knack for it you will see that it changes everything.

Intuitive Exercise

Try this exercise Experience is the only way to grasp this concept.  First choose a conversation you have planned for this week.  You will learn to set the energy for this conversation.

Sit quietly with your feet on the ground.  Be comfortable, close your eyes and begin to allow your body to quiet and begin to clear your mind.

I suggest using the following basic intuitive techniques.  (If you aren’t familiar with them and would like to learn them contact me.) Once you learn these techniques, it takes only minutes to create this space of meditation.

Find Meditation Space

  • Be grounded – energy connection to the planet
  • Be centered – attention and awareness in the center of your head
  • Have your space – aura in around you
  • Be in present time – have all of your energy and awareness in the moment
  • Breathe and release – technique for clearing and healing
  • Hold your head high – positioning the top of your head (crown chakra)

Open Intuition – Set Energy

  • Imagine in your mind’s eye a simple red rose – see it clearly
  • Decide that this rose represents the conversation you selected for this exercise.
  • Meditate on this conversation.   How would you like to experience this conversation?  How do you imagine others will experiencing the conversation?  How would you like to experience the energy : clear, uplifting, cooperative, validating, etc.?
  • Keep clearing your thinking, letting go of memories and emotions, etc. until you can imagine the conversation precisely as you would like it to go.
  • Put your attention back on the rose.  Let the rose change to a color that represents your vision of this conversation.  Now let it go.
  • Take deep breath.  Stretch.

You probably noticed that you had to clear your thinking, remove your fears and decide more clearly what you wanted from the conversation.

You may want to repeat this exercise again before the conversation.

When you have the real conversation notice how to goes.  How similar or different was it from your vision.  Awareness is the key to intuition as not everything is logical.  We are at our best when we use both sides of our brain.

Let me know how this exercise works for you.  I want to hear your story.