Don’t Seek Comfort To Achieve

200469160-001When people are in discomfort or pain, it is my inclination to want to bring them out of it.  I want to raise their energy high enough to feel better, so I feel better.  Not a good way to be.  It gets in the way of success and achieving our vision.

We create discomfort to stop, reflect and see where we want to be versus where we are. The problem is our tendency to seek comfort.  Seeking comfort can prevent us from achieving our vision.  It is in our nature to get out of discomfort quickly as possible.  Everyone does this a different way, i.e. getting an endorphin/physical rush, healing or massage, drinking, drugs, sex, and anything else that changes the energy we are experiencing.

Growth Periods

Nothing changes except that we are out of pain for that moment. The discomfort will return because there was something we needed to change and still do. To give this experience a label, I call it a growth period, a point in time when we have the opportunity for real change.  The decision we make can change everything.  We can choose to get out of the pain, or we can decide to sit with it to find out something about ourselves and our vision.

Growth periods happen when we have a vision of something that we want in our lives.  Once we have a vision, the universe starts to manifest around that mental image picture and things start to change. How quickly things change depends on what we allow.

When the universe starts to manifest around our vision and things start to change, we experience discomfort. Our body reacts to every change with unease until we get used to and comfortable with the new energy and space the change created.  It is at this point that we can decide. We can decide to sit with the discomfort and understand the change being created so that our vision can manifest OR we can do whatever we can to get out of discomfort.  Each choice produces a different result.  Allowing and understanding the pain allows our vision to continue to manifest.  Resisting and trying to get out of it causes the change we started to stop.

Choices

When I get into a growth period, I am honestly inclined to either of these choices depending on how intense the discomfort is.   The greater the discomfort, the bigger the change you are in the process of creating.  We can stop that change or we can allow it so when in a growth period, I ask myself, “What part of my vision is creating this growth period?  Where do I need to change to allow this aspect of my vision to manifest?” With this awareness, you decide, “Do I want this change in my life?”  Honestly, you can say,  “This growth period ‘s too big, I am going to give up this aspect of my vision.”  Or you can say, “I am willing to understand this growth period so that my vision can manifest.”

Your Vision

It helps to read your vision to align yourself with it.  If you do not have a written vision, then I suggest you write one.  A written vision helps ground your plan, to understand the changes you are experiencing so that you know they are not coincidences.  Most importantly, none of this reflection or understanding is logical.  Your understanding is most clear from an intuitive perspective.  Meditate.  Imagine, visualize, see in your mind’s eye your vision.  While in meditation, ask yourself within, “What change is this growth period creating and why is it so uncomfortable?”  Try not to think rather listen to yourself at your core.  The answers you hear will enlighten you and your journey to the vision of the life you desire.

Success is not a mystery

dreamstimefree_2565706Some of what I write in my blog is logical and strategic. I love that way of thinking. Most of what I write is from an intuitive perspective with the goal to open our awareness to so much more than what our mind can understand.

In our culture, we are programmed to be logical about all things. I joined a conversation thread with a group of logical thinkers to interject an intuitive perspective into their conversation. They would have no part of it. Everything is logical they insisted. What I learned from spending time with them is their conversation centered on things that can be understood logically and shied away from discussions that were not. So in their world of logic that is all there was.

In this conversation with you, I invite both logical and intuitive perspectives. The challenge is to shift our perspective between the two in the same conversation. That is the challenge.

Let me offer an example.

The most successful people have a clear vision of what they are creating. Having a clear vision can be understood logically as they can describe their vision to you and you understand. It is also intuitive as they see their vision clearly in their mind’s eye, but even more importantly they see it manifesting. Successful people who mastered this include Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Richard Branson and others. With great enthusiasm, they created one success after another.

After working with business owners for years, I learned there is another way a business owner may approach success that produces a different result. Their vision may not be clear. Their vision is an idea in their mind rather than something they can see in their mind’s eye. Intuitively, we know that what we imagine (in our mind’s eye) is being created. So until they can see it, it is just an idea.

A next key element for success is feeling and seeing a vision manifesting already, in smaller ways at first then growing. They can see their vision manifesting, doing this with great enthusiasm and passion for what they are creating. In this way, they add their creative energy to the mental image picture (their vision). When we add our energy to a picture, it comes to life and begins to manifest in reality.

Those who struggle with success may not have a clear vision but even if they do, may not feel that it can manifest. Their thoughts and emotions get in the way. They see their vision as something they want. Wanting is the opposite of manifesting so when we are in the energy of wanting then we are left with wanting. Not logical but very intuitive.

Successful people do not let anything get in their way. They are determined and move effortlessly through other’s pictures or energy that is not in support of their goal. They effortlessly keep moving forward, inspired by and taking actions to support their vision.

The dichotomy to this would be to become the effect of other’s pictures or energy. Perhaps someone does not share your vision and tries to talk you out of it, and this stops you. Perhaps someone has a strong reaction to the changes you are making to achieve your vision, and their energy gets stuck in your space.

Our vision of success can get stuck when we get into effort or try to control  how our vision manifests. How a vision manifests is not always logical.  On an intuitive level, when we resist or control anything, we change the course of it. Our original vision cannot move in a tightly controlled energy, so it stops and whatever we resist begins to manifest instead.

My favorite physicist, Fritjof Capra, would describe this in an elegant, scientific way. His description of how our energy impacts our world are in his book, The Tao of Physics.

So where to go from here? Logic can be understood. Intuitive perspectives cannot be understood through logic. They are understood through experience. So try the following and notice the difference this makes in your life.

  • Spend time reflecting on your vision. See it clearly in your mind’s eye. Not thinking but imagining your vision. Do this often.
  • Feel your vision manifesting now. Be clear about that. Avoid the tendency to imagine it in the future. Challenge yourself to see your vision beginning to happen now.
  • Find your enthusiasm for your vision. Release any thoughts or feelings that say it cannot happen.
  • Change your routine and begin to act in a new way that aligns with your vision.
  • Do not control how your vision manifests. Become aware of the inevitable changes that will occur for your vision to manifest. Do not control them. Go with the changes, as not everything is logical.

Best wishes, Kay

Intuition

What Am I Trying to Accomplish Here?

green grasTo be human is to ask, then ask again, “What is my purpose?”   I hear and ask this question all the time. When we feel uncertain about the answer to this big question then make it simple.  Decide to be on your path today. Being on your path in this moment is far more important and inspiring.

If you stopped, got out of your routine, took the time to get really present with yourself and meditated, opening to your intuition, not your logic, how would you decide to be on your path today?

We are so programmed to think, decide, know and figure out our path, our purpose or our life’s work that we drift further and further away from ourselves, from who we are at our core.

If you are uncertain about your purpose or feel a bit off your path then do not think about it. Do not try to answer the question.   Instead, stop.   Come out of all your thoughts about things. Stop thinking. Be present with yourself in this moment. Decide to be on your path today wherever that leads you. Do this intuitively. No expectation.

A good measure is to love each moment and the experience.

It could be as simple as changing your attitude about this day, your life today, the people you interact with, the way your approach each experience.   It could mean making different choices and placing your attention on things that matter versus things that do not and know the difference.

Rather than write goals for the New Year decide to live your purpose each day. You do not have to name it. Just be in present time. For this to work you have to get off the treadmill, out of routines, clear your thinking, let go of energy and be present.

Best wishes for the New Year,

Kay

Never From NEED!

0032PhotonicaOne of the biggest mistakes a business owner makes is when they have a desperate need then makes decisions from that energy.

The energy of need comes deep within us in fear.  When we are in fear, all our energy leaves our upper chakras and our rational mind. Instead, our energy goes directly to the first chakra where we manage survival and fear. In some ways, this is helpful because it creates energies and physiological responses that can set us into strong action – fight or flight.
One area that commonly we may not have a clear perspective is the people we need to help us. When we hire from the energy of need, we forgo our intuition, hiring someone who can do the job without considering if they are a good fit for the company. Making decisions this way is always a disaster because we look from only one perspective – can they do the job. As we know, we need more than skill sets from our staff. The energy of need in the first chakra causes us to lose this perspective.  “I need someone who can do the job and I need them NOW!”  When we hear ourselves feeling this way we need to stop.  We are in fear.

Operating from the energy of need happens also when we have a staff person who is negative, bored, unhappy with their job, not performing well, causing disruption, etc. but we NEED them. When we are in the energy of need, we believe that we need them to do the job as if there was no one else in the world who could.  This is not true but when we are in need and fear we believe it.  Our life depends on it.   It is always true that letting go of an unhappy or unpleasant employee will improve your company no matter how much you believe you need them.

Hiring and supporting staff that support you and your vision are critical to your success. The common phrase, hire slow and fire fast, is one of the best pieces of advice I have heard. To hire slow gives you the opportunity to decide not only the skills the applicant has, but also how he/she feels to you and what your intuition tells you about how they will represent your brand and fit into the culture of your business. That same intuition tells you that someone on your staff is disrupting the energy of your business as well as the culture and brand you have worked hard to create.

When we are in the energy of NEED, it disrupts our decision-making and distorts our perspective. This blog talks mostly about staff though the energy of NEED can affect any decision that we make. When making a decision take the time to notice the energy you are making it from. If you feel that urgency in your body or the energy of NEED, take some time to step back, calm down, clear your thinking, come out of fear (lower chakras) to find a more neutral perspective (upper chakras).  It will change your perspective and you will make better decisions.

Best wishes on your success, Kay

 

 

Gut Feelings, Intuition & Decisions

dreamstimefree_manimaginingCan you trust gut feelings? How is that different from intuition? These are questions that I often get asked. There is a big difference, which is important to note. Intuition and gut feelings are similar in that they are each one of the several intuitive abilities that all of us have. Some of us are more finely attuned to these abilities than others. It is helpful and important to develop these abilities and to use them consciously in our daily life. I know there are those of you who are not convinced though how many times have you said, “I knew that would happen!” Or “I should have listened to myself.”

Energy Centers

There are seven major chakras or energy centers in the body with many minor chakras. Each chakra or energy center has a particular function and ability. For example, the famous gut feeling comes from feeling something with our second chakra located just below the naval.

 Gut Feelings

Gut feelings are the body’s way of saying how something feels to you. It might feel good or not so good. That does not mean that it is or is not good. It is just a feeling. I would never suggest that you make a decision purely from your gut feelings though in combination with other information it is a valuable barometer.

It Doesn’t Feel Right

One of the important ways to use your gut feelings is if something does NOT feel right. I would never go ahead with something that does not feel right. It is often best to stop, gather more information, look behind closed doors, check to see what is not yet visible or known or if not important then simply walk away. If it involves a decision then find out more before you decide on something that your gut feeling says does not feel right.

Knowing for Certain

While we are not going to discuss all seven energy centers in this blog I would like to mention a couple of others that are used most often.

There are times when we just KNOW. We don’t know how we know but we are certain. There is no doubt and we are at a loss to say how we know. This ability to know comes from the crown chakra at the top of the head. It is where our higher awareness is. It is not logical. It is an intuitive ability to know. Decisions are best made from this high knowingness.

Telling the  Truth from a Lie

Finally, clear seeing is ability we experience all the time but may not recognize it as an intuitive ability. Unfortunately we also do not always act on what we see. Clear seeing comes from the sixth chakra in the middle of the forehead, the third eye. It is our ability to read someone or something. We pick up on people. No matter what they are saying we can see what they truly mean or where they are coming from. This is a very reliable form of intuition because it is not emotional. It is seeing clearly. It becomes challenging when we see something clearly but cannot explain logically how we know this information.  As a kid I always wondered why so many people lied.

 Open Intuition

The next step is to listen to our intuition. It can be loud. “Don’t go there!” or it can be subtle, “This does not feel right.”   Intuition is your very first thought or first feeling. It can be fleeting. Within seconds of your intuition your brain kicks in full force to make sense of or be logical about or give an explanation of whatever situation you find yourself it. Far to often we follow our analyzer and ignore our intuition always with a less desirable outcome. “I wish I had listened to myself.” “I knew that would happen.”

Listen

If nothing else start to listen to your intuition – that very first thought or feeling. It lasts a second before it is replaced by logic.   Once you start to listen then it is not replaced and you spend more time connected to your intuition, opening it and becoming more aware of your intuitive perspective. In the ideal world we would use both sides of our brain, using both our logical self and our intuitive self. Until that happens people most often use half their mind and it is unfortunately the logical one, which is not always right. We all know this from life experiences. What is logical is not always the right answer.

Start today and listen.   Become aware of your intuition and how to use it.

Best wishes, Kay

Decision Making Is Overrated

beautiful thoughtsWe do not always have to make a decision.  We can make a really good decision or be completely off the mark.  While there is no science to decision-making there are ways to make them better.  We make decisions all the time.  Mostly we do not pay attention because the decision is obvious though not always easy.  We make most decisions without a second thought throughout the day in our personal lives and in our work.

Whose Problem Are You Solving?

It is always important to know when we do not need to make a decision.  Others may place their problem in our space demanding that we decide to solve a problem they have.  Knowing what is our problem and what belongs to someone else helps us in many ways.  That is the topic of another blog.  For this context knowing when we need to make a decision and when we do not is critical.  Knowing our goal comes first then knowing if making this decision is moving us toward that goal or distracting us.

Does It Feel Right?

Decisions based on facts, data, information, advice, etc. that make sense are made easily.  We have no doubt and decide.  Other times the facts, data, information, tell us one way to decide while our gut feeling says there is another.  While I never recommend that we make a decision based on gut feeling (second chakra) gut feelings are an important red flag to stop, step back and reflect because something is not right.  In general if it does not feel right then something is off.

Trust Your Intuition

Step back, check the information and take the time to separate your energy from the question so that you can gain perspective to determine why it does not feel right.  There is always a reason for this feeling.  If you know how to meditate us this to clear your thinking.  When we step back, calm the body, clear our thinking, clear everyone else’s energy and thinking out of our space then we can see more clearly. Listening to our intuition is an important to making good decisions.  How many times have we said, “I knew that would happen!” or “I wish I had trusted my intuition on that.”  This is hard with others are pushing you in a different direction.  Being in touch with your clear perspective and in touch with your intuition about the decision guides us in making good decisions.

Don’t Decide

Sometimes the best decision is not to decide.  I know that is not logical but you know what I mean because we have all had that experience.  When making a decision at that time does not feel right then simply not deciding is the best decision.  It is amazing how many things are solved this way.

Be Certain

The best decisions are those made when we are certain.  If we learn to step back, clear our thinking, release the energy in the body and the emotions, ours and others, then we can see more clearly.  Meditation is a good way to find perspective. Gaining clarity and certainty are the prerequisites to making a good decision then trusting your intuition.

Best wishes on your success,  Kay

Meditation

 

You Created It!

dreamstimefree_138882Life happens and we act and react to what comes our way.  That is an atheist view.  What if every thing that happens manifests through our own thinking about things?  This is truer but hard to grasp because it is not logical though it is very intuitive.  The proof falls in line when we see ourselves.  Let me share a story of one of my clients who learned that her thinking about things matters.

Susan – The Failed Leader

Susan is a  new director of a large research laboratory.  Under her is an array of doctors each a specialist in their field. Susie called me because she was trying to bring her team of doctors together for monthly department meeting.  To date some doctors never came, others came and controlled the meeting with their own banter, etc.  She was frustrated, felt disrespected and that her leadership was not recognized in the way that she wanted.  When I met with her I could see clearly how she was creating this scenario through her own thinking.

No One To Blame

Typically we look outside ourselves for why something is not going well.  In this case, Susan believed the doctors were being arrogant, had their egos in the way, etc.  This was what she believed and saw the problem was with them.  From an intuitive perspective I had her not focus outside herself but to be aware that she was creating this reality.   I saw her thinking was in her way.  Susan could not imagine bringing the doctors together under her leadership and to work collaboratively.  She feared their egos were stronger than hers that they would run her over and disregard her role so that is exactly what she created and experienced.  At first Susan argued that she was not creating this because it was not what she wanted.

Change Others or Go Within

Susan came up with many suggestions on how to make the doctors come to the meetings, follow her agenda, etc.  These were possible solutions though intuitively I knew they would not work until she changed her thoughts and pictures about her relationship to her staff.  Susan agreed to a guided meditation in which she could become aware of her thinking and vision of the lab.

 A New Vision

In meditation Susan began to imagine the research lab operating in a successful, supportive and collaborative way.  When she became aware of her thoughts about this person or another being in the way she cleared those thoughts and created a new perspective.  Susan meditated on the monthly staff meeting imagining it in a new way.  She began to see her team of doctors coming together, seeing value in collaboration, sharing expertise and generally enjoying the time together.  As she meditated on this she became aware of how much energy she had in resistance to the monthly meeting herself and released that energy from her space.   She was also aware of her fear that the doctors did not value her leadership and cleared those fears.   We continued in this fashion until she could see clearly all the doctors being in communication and support of the success of the lab.

Everyone Is Intuitive

A couple of intuitive points helped Susan understand how she was affecting her ability to be a leader.  Everyone is intuitive and the doctors simply picked up on Susan’s energy  (fear and uncertainty) and reacted in kind.   They intuitive read her pictures especially the one about doctors not wanting to follow her leadership and so they did not.  From an intuitive perspective be aware that people pick up on the energy and pictures in our space and react more to that than what we say.

 A New Reality

Once Susan cleared her thinking and released the energies in her space, I had her begin to see herself as a leader with a clear working relationship with all of her team, leading, setting the tone, being in communication and having fun.

In this meditation Susan changed her perspective and energy about the lab, her staff and specifically the monthly staff meeting.  Not surprising Susan reported that everything changed immediately.  She found herself approaching her communication with everyone in a new way resulting in a new response from each person.  They seemed to sense her clarity and certainty.  All the doctors attended the next monthly staff meeting, and she led them in a lively and productive case discussion.  It was clear to Susan the change was within her.  The staff sensed her clarity as a leader and the change in her perspective.

Clear Your Thinking 

What surprised Susan was she did not have to make her staff change though that seemed to happen.   Susan understood that she was in her own way.  Her thoughts about her staff, her fears about her own abilities and how she saw herself as the leader were manifesting in her reality. That has changed.   Susan committed to regularly assessing the thoughts and concepts she has in her space and on her mind and to meditate to find this clarity.

From an intuitive perspective we create our reality through our thoughts, fears and concepts.  Change your thinking and watch your reality change.  If there is a situation in your life or your work that is not as you would like it to be then stop to see what your thoughts are about it.   It is never the other person or the situation.  It is always manifesting from within us so meditate because the answer may not always be logical.

Best wishes on your success, Kay