The Tough Steps

fresh sunrise at mountainCreating the life that we desire takes courage. Working with people every day shows me a great deal about how we create.  Everyone has a vision of the life they desire and goals to get there.  Most take small steps and never fully achieve their dream.  Why is that?

We decide it is too hard, change is too uncomfortable, we are afraid or don’t like taking risks.  In a nutshell, we don’t take big enough steps to create our vision.  We prefer the comfort of what is familiar even if it is not where we want to be.

My job as a coach is to push you to go where you say you want to go.  Lindsay owns a business.  She works hard but wants more.  Lindsay wants her business to run without her so that she can have a life as well.  The solution involves a handful of key changes, and she would be well on her way to having a business running reliably just the way she wants without her being there all the time.

The vision Lindsay has for herself, and her business will stay a vision because she does not like working on business development areas that are new to her, to think in new ways and to be uncertain.  All this makes her uncomfortable, so she says, “I am not ready for this today.”

Carol is a career professional and successful at a job she does not like.  More importantly, she wants time to create a relationship so that her life is whole from her perspective. Having a job that pays her well is more comfortable than the effort of looking for a new position that pays well and that she enjoys.  Carol also finds it hard to get out of her routine and spend time meeting people. Until she is ready to take steps that are uncomfortable, her vision stays something she desires.

We are creatures of routine even if those routines do not serve our vision of the life we desire.  It takes determination, the courage to change and the will to take action to move from where we are now to have what we say we want.

Take a deep breath.  Write down what you want in your life.  Then write the steps you can take that will make a difference.  Do not write down the easy steps because you are going to do those anyway.  The difficult steps are the ones we need to take to make a difference in our lives. Have courage.

Kay

Coaching

Advertisements

Success is not a mystery.

Push pin on success text
Success is not a mystery.

What I know about success.

The clearer our vision, the greater our success.

So spend more time dreaming and not all your time doing.

Focus time on actions that create success.

Do not be distracted by time thiefs.

Create a plan and act on it diligently.

Decide how you want to be in your life, work and relationships with others then be that.

Know how you are being in each moment.

Believe in your vision. Believe in yourself.

Create success with the support of others. Never do it alone.

See your vision manifesting now, not in the future.

Allow it to be uncomfortable. Change is uncomfortable.

Have enthusiasm for your vision of success. Stay focused on that.

Don’t give up on vision, yourself or others.

What do you dwell on? That’s what you are creating. Yikes!

dv1990098We spend our time dwelling on the energy in our space, the thoughts in our head, problems, people and more. How might things be different if we directed our attention? How might things be different if we consciously decided what to dwell on? What would happen if we did not dwell on energies in our space but on the life we are creating?

First, it would be hard to do because no one taught us that we could choose. No one taught us that we pick up other’s energy and thoughts all day long into our space. And indeed, no one taught us that we could and should remove energy that is not ours from our space every day. No one taught us to clear our thinking.

So now as adults we live in a reality where we keep others energy and thoughts in our space and think it is ours. The owner of a very successful company described an experience in which she could not get a client off her mind. Sara was dwelling on him regularly and could feel him in her space. She tried everything she could think of the get free of him finally she danced. She danced for hours, enjoying every minute of it, bringing her energy back into her space and releasing the energy and thoughts of her client. This worked for her.

Charles found himself dwelling on his staff; felt that he could not get free of them, their expectations and his thoughts about it. Then it occurred to Charles that perhaps he could decide what to focus on and what to think. Charles knew he had to get his space back from everyone, so he got into his car, put the top down and headed for the coast. The coast had always been a place of personal sanctuary for Charles, and it reminded him of times when he was clear and enjoyed dwelling on the life he desired.

Both of these examples are great stories of someone recognizing they wanted their space back so that they could focus their thoughts intentionally. Their solutions worked but are not practical for each moment of our day.

The goal would be to focus our thinking and our energy, as we desire throughout our day. Doing this would change our lives in positive ways. Rather than dwelling on problems, we would focus on how we want our lives to be personally and professionally. Focusing on what we do want changes everything.

Because this would be a significant change, we have to start small. First, begin to notice what you dwell on. Becoming aware of our thoughts is essential to create change. Next, imagine releasing or coming out of those thoughts. It may mean letting go of thoughts others have placed in your space as well as thoughts you added to that conversation. Stop the conversation. Finally, redirect your attention. Begin to focus on and think about how you do want in this moment, today , this week, etc. in the context of the life you desire.

It helps to write down what you are creating in your life, to help you direct not only your thinking but also your actions. Thoughts are creative so create your thoughts. Create thoughts that support the life you desire.  Do not dwell, even for a second, on what you do not want.

Best wishes for success, Kay

 

Create From Within

dreamstime_xs_12419700For the past twenty plus years, I have been working with business owners and professionals to achieve their vision of success and learned a great deal in the process.

When I began I had everyone focus on achieving his or her goals. I have a unique ability to guide people in achieving something, so most achieved their goals and more quickly than they expected. Something else happened.

These same people then complained that though they achieved their goals, they were not happy. From this came a new focus. The answer does not come from achieving goals. I needed to show people to look at the bigger picture. What is their vision for the life they desire? All of it. Personally and professionally. Goals needed to support their vision.

This change made an enormous difference. I found everyone began to feel inspired by creating a grander vision for himself or herself. Gradually I watched people creating greater and grander things then feeling a bit lost.

In meditation, I saw that everyone was busy creating things to have, be and do. All their attention was outside of themselves. They were getting addicted to creating one thing after another and began losing awareness of themselves. I knew they were heading in the wrong direction. I  saw they needed to go within and reconnect with who they are.

From this awareness, I created From Within, a program designed to guide you to connect with who you are at your core. To go within. When you connect with who you are at your core, you grow in your awareness of yourself, find your essence and everything changes.

When you connect to who we are at our core then you create from within and that manifests in your world. This may not be logical. It is more accurate to say it is something you have to experience.

We have so much of our attention and awareness outside ourselves that we lose ourselves. We are busy manifesting rather than experiencing who we are at our core in the world.

When we create from within, we can experience who we are in the world. That does not mean that we have to change what we do or have. It means we bring who we are at our core, our essence, into what we do and create from there.

Take the time to meditate. Go within. Go to your core (cor=heart). Find yourself. Find your essence. Create from within.

Best wishes, Kay

From Within

What’s Next?

dreamstime_5775817Every decade or so we go through a period of doubt, questioning or feeling unsettled. Cycles like this occur naturally. We all go through them. These cycle transitions can be smooth and uneventful, and others require more thought and decision-making. Some can be challenging. How we approach these periods is up to us?

Fred declared with grave concern that he did not feel he could continue in his business as he had before. Fred felt he was not focused enough and was deeply concerned. As an intuitive, I saw that Fred simply completed a cycle of being an active business owner and was starting a new course – nothing to be ashamed of. To force this change, that he has wanted for a while, he had a medical episode. The medical event is not life threatening but of enough concern to give him reason to change his role in his company.

Recognizing and understanding the nature of cycles in our lives is important. We create a cycle to experience some new aspect of ourselves. This desire becomes a vision, and we make goals that help us create this change. How smoothly this change of cycles occurs depends on us. When we realize that we are creating the change we are experiencing, it works best if we allow the transition. When we try to control or resist our vision, then it may take something dramatic in our lives to help us move from one cycle to another. In Fred’s case, a medical condition is an acceptable reason for changing his role in the business. Now do not get me wrong. Fred does not desire the medical condition, but it was the only way his vision could manifest.

Another client held a commanding position in a large city government and was beloved by everyone who knew him. Charlie loved his work but dreamt of retirement. He could not bring himself to quit for many reasons, but he imagined almost every day, being retired and enjoying his life with his wife. The old saying, “Be careful what you pray for.”

Charlie presents an excellent example of a new cycle being created. Charlie was clear about his vision but could not actively make the transition so how was his dream to come true. To achieve his vision, he had to get out of where he was. Consider the choices someone can make to get out of a job. They could resign. Charlie could not bring himself to do that. Too many people depended on him. He could get fired which seemed unlikely as he was so beloved or his could get sick. Charlie had a severe illness a couple of years back and had a strong determination not to be that sick again. Of the three choices, Charlie has less of his attention on getting fired, so that became the solution. Out of the blue, for no apparent reason, he was asked to resign. Charlie was shocked. I was not. He was creating a new cycle but was preventing it from manifesting, so the universe created his desire the only way possible.

Most if not all my clients come to me when they are ending a cycle, are looking to understand and navigate the changes they have set in motion. We are always getting our goals. Sometimes we get in our own way, so the change needed happens more dramatically. To transition from where we are to our vision, begins with being conscious and aware of what we are imagining or desiring. Whatever we imagine is being created one way or another.

Being mindful, spending time being quiet or in meditation, staying in communication with yourself and being conscious and aware of what you are imaging, are all steps to creating transitions rather than our transitions being forced on us.

Take time today to stop, be clear about what you imagine for yourself. Write it down then note what needs to change and what is happening to give you what you imagine or desire. Be in charge of the next cycle of your life.

Best wishes, Kay

How we are being, determines our success.

Cloud SmileysSuccess depends on us. Not so much what we do but how we are being. If you want to know how things will turn out today, tomorrow or next year, stop and notice how you are being. Notice how you are feeling about it. Notice what you think, fear or believe. Seeing yourself, you are watching how you create or don’t create. We can change how we are being and thus change the result.

Notice how things are different when we are acting in ways that are successful. When we are being successful, we can be guaranteed a better outcome.

The energy of creating is not a complicated concept though it may not be logical. When we are excited by the possibilities, see our vision, are running our creative energy, we are creating success. The creative energy of the planet manifests around what we imagine and gives it form.

On the other hand, when we are down for some reason, our creative energy drops and, as a result, everything seems to stop or fade away. That is what happens exactly. The image we had of our success is no longer energized by us and so it, in fact, disappears.

Our thinking can get in the way as well. Say you know the success that you want. You begin to imagine your idea of being successful then you start to have doubts. Your thoughts jump to the forefront, saying you will not be successful for one reason or another. Your attention moves from your vision of success to a fear of failure. Once again the creative energy drops, the mental image picture of success starts to fade.

There are many examples of how our creative energy can lower. It happens all the time. The measure of success is how we react to these situations. Do we stay at the lower vibration and maybe go even lower, allowing our vision to fade completely? Yikes!

Some recognize the thoughts, energy or experiences that just brought them down and they turn it around. With great determination, they take their attention off the negative thoughts or energy and refocus on their vision of success. It is an exercise in self-discipline, disciplining our energy, directing it in ways that support our success.

We have control of our creative energy even what something impacts our energy in the moment. Being self-aware allows us to notice these energy changes and adjust rather than dwell in the lower energy levels.

How do you change your energy when it drops? One business owner gets in his car and goes for a drive; another spends time in meditation reconnecting to his enthusiasm for his vision, and yet another goes to the beach, to find himself. All three of these people know that solving the problem is not the answer. They know the answer is in finding themselves, their passion and enthusiasm for what they are creating. They move to get their energy back to creating and reconnect with themselves, knowing that anything is possible.

The answer lies in noticing how we are being in the moment. To create, we have to be at a creative vibration. To stop creating, simply drop your energy. We have free will. We can choose.

When We Hate Change

200469160-001Two of my clients are going through difficult life changing events that bring me to understand more deeply the nature of change. Both are experiencing changes they have wanted for a long time but changes they could not make. We are always getting what we want. Sometimes we are proactive and create the changes we desire. When we are stuck in a routine, a way of being and resisting change, our desire for change still manifests though in a forceful way.

Everyone I work with can identify that their current crisis stems from a desire for change. Sometimes change needs to disrupt old routines, energy patterns and ways of being that no longer serve us and stand in the way of achieving our vision.

When circumstances force us to make a change, we have wanted but could not make then we know that we are the cause of the disruption. Some changes are made easily. Other changes need an explosion to be accomplished. These are often miserable, heart-wrenching experiences of change.

That does not mean that it has to be this way. When there is a change we desire but find it difficult or impossible to accomplish, we tend to find a way to continue as we are without making the change voluntarily. This approach almost guarantees an upheaval as necessary to give us the change we know we want.

There is another way to effect a change we resist making. From an intuitive perspective, it begins with using abilities we already have within us.

  • Go to your core (cor is Latin for the heart). Go to who you are at your core – go within to your heart chakra. Connect with who you are. From your core, you find courage, which means to stand by your core. When we connect to our core and create from there, we experience our courage to create change.
  • Be grounded. When we resist making a change, the energy center at the base of our spine (the first chakra – survival chakra) may open too much making any change appear harder than it is. Grounding the first chakra is a way to come out of the fear of change. Imagine a connection between the base of your spine and the center of the planet. Imagine being grounded.
  • Be centered. We can get lost in our thinking that is, for the most part, incorrect. Our thinking tends to focus on worry and problems. Gain perspective by being in the center of your head (sixth chakra not your analyzer). When we are centered in this way, and not lost in thought but centered, we have a clearer perspective from which to see and know our next step. Imagine the life you desire rather focus on the problem at hand.
  • Hold your head high. I know that sounds trite though from an intuitive perspective when we hold our head up, lengthen our spine so that our energy centers (chakras) are aligned then our energy can flow up through an energy center at the top of our head, the crown chakra. This energy center vibrates our confidence, ownership of our space and seniority in our world.

All of these steps are designed to connect to our courage for a change, to come out of the fear of change, to clear our thinking, focus on what we do want and find the confidence to make the changes to get there.

The body hates change, so a change will most always be uncomfortable though it is essential to achieve our vision of the life we desire. So to have the changes we desire means accepting the discomfort (disruption in old energy patterns) during the transition.

We are always getting our goals. We are always evolving and moving toward our grandest vision for ourselves.

Best wishes, Kay