Don’t Seek Comfort To Achieve

200469160-001When people are in discomfort or pain, it is my inclination to want to bring them out of it.  I want to raise their energy high enough to feel better, so I feel better.  Not a good way to be.  It gets in the way of success and achieving our vision.

We create discomfort to stop, reflect and see where we want to be versus where we are. The problem is our tendency to seek comfort.  Seeking comfort can prevent us from achieving our vision.  It is in our nature to get out of discomfort quickly as possible.  Everyone does this a different way, i.e. getting an endorphin/physical rush, healing or massage, drinking, drugs, sex, and anything else that changes the energy we are experiencing.

Growth Periods

Nothing changes except that we are out of pain for that moment. The discomfort will return because there was something we needed to change and still do. To give this experience a label, I call it a growth period, a point in time when we have the opportunity for real change.  The decision we make can change everything.  We can choose to get out of the pain, or we can decide to sit with it to find out something about ourselves and our vision.

Growth periods happen when we have a vision of something that we want in our lives.  Once we have a vision, the universe starts to manifest around that mental image picture and things start to change. How quickly things change depends on what we allow.

When the universe starts to manifest around our vision and things start to change, we experience discomfort. Our body reacts to every change with unease until we get used to and comfortable with the new energy and space the change created.  It is at this point that we can decide. We can decide to sit with the discomfort and understand the change being created so that our vision can manifest OR we can do whatever we can to get out of discomfort.  Each choice produces a different result.  Allowing and understanding the pain allows our vision to continue to manifest.  Resisting and trying to get out of it causes the change we started to stop.

Choices

When I get into a growth period, I am honestly inclined to either of these choices depending on how intense the discomfort is.   The greater the discomfort, the bigger the change you are in the process of creating.  We can stop that change or we can allow it so when in a growth period, I ask myself, “What part of my vision is creating this growth period?  Where do I need to change to allow this aspect of my vision to manifest?” With this awareness, you decide, “Do I want this change in my life?”  Honestly, you can say,  “This growth period ‘s too big, I am going to give up this aspect of my vision.”  Or you can say, “I am willing to understand this growth period so that my vision can manifest.”

Your Vision

It helps to read your vision to align yourself with it.  If you do not have a written vision, then I suggest you write one.  A written vision helps ground your plan, to understand the changes you are experiencing so that you know they are not coincidences.  Most importantly, none of this reflection or understanding is logical.  Your understanding is most clear from an intuitive perspective.  Meditate.  Imagine, visualize, see in your mind’s eye your vision.  While in meditation, ask yourself within, “What change is this growth period creating and why is it so uncomfortable?”  Try not to think rather listen to yourself at your core.  The answers you hear will enlighten you and your journey to the vision of the life you desire.

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Your Vision is Not Out There

Frangipani Spa Flowers reflected water.PlumeriaThe importance of having a vision is promoted everywhere these days. Having a vision sounds like a discovery, or maybe we are hearing it for the first time. Perhaps the ability to see in our mind’s eye – to visualize -is gathering acceptance. In any case, the idea of vision is not new and is it not something someone discovered.

Our vision is within us. Contrary to that perspective, people believe we have to figure out or decide our vision. That would be an incorrect approach. Our vision is at our core and always has been.

Working with professionals and business owners has increased my awareness of how a vision develops. Over the years I discovered that our vision is not something that we decide. Our vision is something that we discover within us, at our core.

When we can come out of our thinking, stop analyzing and arguing the pros and cons of various vision options, perhaps we can get quiet enough to listen to ourselves. Learning to go within and communicate with ourselves at our core, will give us the insight we need to know the vision that is already within us.

Our life is the path we follow to let our vision unfold and manifest. Our path is not about what we do but an expression of who we are at our core. I know this makes us shift our thinking that our vision, path and purpose are things we have to decide and create out there in the world somehow. A different perspective sees our vision flow from within to manifest in our world.

Our path is to experience our vision. We get off our path, get in our way and force ourselves, often with a lot of effort, to create what we think we should. Alternatively, if we simply quiet our space, go within and listen to ourselves at our core, we can begin to live the life our vision inspires.

Creating from our core is not logical. Then again we think too much. Our thinking gets in the way of knowing the vision we have always had for ourselves and our path to experience our that vision in the world. Do not think about this. That’s what gets us off our path.

Thoughts, concepts, emotions and programming that we hold get in the way of knowing our vision and expressing it.

Find the vision you have always had within you. First, stop thinking. Get quiet. Close your eyes. Go within. Get to know who you are at your core. Do not think. Learn to listen. Follow your heart. Follow your core, and you will be on your path, allowing the vision you always had within you to manifest.

Kay

The Tough Steps

fresh sunrise at mountainCreating the life that we desire takes courage. Working with people every day shows me a great deal about how we create.  Everyone has a vision of the life they desire and goals to get there.  Most take small steps and never fully achieve their dream.  Why is that?

We decide it is too hard, change is too uncomfortable, we are afraid or don’t like taking risks.  In a nutshell, we don’t take big enough steps to create our vision.  We prefer the comfort of what is familiar even if it is not where we want to be.

My job as a coach is to push you to go where you say you want to go.  Lindsay owns a business.  She works hard but wants more.  Lindsay wants her business to run without her so that she can have a life as well.  The solution involves a handful of key changes, and she would be well on her way to having a business running reliably just the way she wants without her being there all the time.

The vision Lindsay has for herself, and her business will stay a vision because she does not like working on business development areas that are new to her, to think in new ways and to be uncertain.  All this makes her uncomfortable, so she says, “I am not ready for this today.”

Carol is a career professional and successful at a job she does not like.  More importantly, she wants time to create a relationship so that her life is whole from her perspective. Having a job that pays her well is more comfortable than the effort of looking for a new position that pays well and that she enjoys.  Carol also finds it hard to get out of her routine and spend time meeting people. Until she is ready to take steps that are uncomfortable, her vision stays something she desires.

We are creatures of routine even if those routines do not serve our vision of the life we desire.  It takes determination, the courage to change and the will to take action to move from where we are now to have what we say we want.

Take a deep breath.  Write down what you want in your life.  Then write the steps you can take that will make a difference.  Do not write down the easy steps because you are going to do those anyway.  The difficult steps are the ones we need to take to make a difference in our lives. Have courage.

Kay

Coaching

Success is not a mystery.

Push pin on success text
Success is not a mystery.

What I know about success.

The clearer our vision, the greater our success.

So spend more time dreaming and not all your time doing.

Focus time on actions that create success.

Do not be distracted by time thiefs.

Create a plan and act on it diligently.

Decide how you want to be in your life, work and relationships with others then be that.

Know how you are being in each moment.

Believe in your vision. Believe in yourself.

Create success with the support of others. Never do it alone.

See your vision manifesting now, not in the future.

Allow it to be uncomfortable. Change is uncomfortable.

Have enthusiasm for your vision of success. Stay focused on that.

Don’t give up on vision, yourself or others.

What do you dwell on? That’s what you are creating. Yikes!

dv1990098We spend our time dwelling on the energy in our space, the thoughts in our head, problems, people and more. How might things be different if we directed our attention? How might things be different if we consciously decided what to dwell on? What would happen if we did not dwell on energies in our space but on the life we are creating?

First, it would be hard to do because no one taught us that we could choose. No one taught us that we pick up other’s energy and thoughts all day long into our space. And indeed, no one taught us that we could and should remove energy that is not ours from our space every day. No one taught us to clear our thinking.

So now as adults we live in a reality where we keep others energy and thoughts in our space and think it is ours. The owner of a very successful company described an experience in which she could not get a client off her mind. Sara was dwelling on him regularly and could feel him in her space. She tried everything she could think of the get free of him finally she danced. She danced for hours, enjoying every minute of it, bringing her energy back into her space and releasing the energy and thoughts of her client. This worked for her.

Charles found himself dwelling on his staff; felt that he could not get free of them, their expectations and his thoughts about it. Then it occurred to Charles that perhaps he could decide what to focus on and what to think. Charles knew he had to get his space back from everyone, so he got into his car, put the top down and headed for the coast. The coast had always been a place of personal sanctuary for Charles, and it reminded him of times when he was clear and enjoyed dwelling on the life he desired.

Both of these examples are great stories of someone recognizing they wanted their space back so that they could focus their thoughts intentionally. Their solutions worked but are not practical for each moment of our day.

The goal would be to focus our thinking and our energy, as we desire throughout our day. Doing this would change our lives in positive ways. Rather than dwelling on problems, we would focus on how we want our lives to be personally and professionally. Focusing on what we do want changes everything.

Because this would be a significant change, we have to start small. First, begin to notice what you dwell on. Becoming aware of our thoughts is essential to create change. Next, imagine releasing or coming out of those thoughts. It may mean letting go of thoughts others have placed in your space as well as thoughts you added to that conversation. Stop the conversation. Finally, redirect your attention. Begin to focus on and think about how you do want in this moment, today , this week, etc. in the context of the life you desire.

It helps to write down what you are creating in your life, to help you direct not only your thinking but also your actions. Thoughts are creative so create your thoughts. Create thoughts that support the life you desire.  Do not dwell, even for a second, on what you do not want.

Best wishes for success, Kay

 

Create From Within

dreamstime_xs_12419700For the past twenty plus years, I have been working with business owners and professionals to achieve their vision of success and learned a great deal in the process.

When I began I had everyone focus on achieving his or her goals. I have a unique ability to guide people in achieving something, so most achieved their goals and more quickly than they expected. Something else happened.

These same people then complained that though they achieved their goals, they were not happy. From this came a new focus. The answer does not come from achieving goals. I needed to show people to look at the bigger picture. What is their vision for the life they desire? All of it. Personally and professionally. Goals needed to support their vision.

This change made an enormous difference. I found everyone began to feel inspired by creating a grander vision for himself or herself. Gradually I watched people creating greater and grander things then feeling a bit lost.

In meditation, I saw that everyone was busy creating things to have, be and do. All their attention was outside of themselves. They were getting addicted to creating one thing after another and began losing awareness of themselves. I knew they were heading in the wrong direction. I  saw they needed to go within and reconnect with who they are.

From this awareness, I created From Within, a program designed to guide you to connect with who you are at your core. To go within. When you connect with who you are at your core, you grow in your awareness of yourself, find your essence and everything changes.

When you connect to who we are at our core then you create from within and that manifests in your world. This may not be logical. It is more accurate to say it is something you have to experience.

We have so much of our attention and awareness outside ourselves that we lose ourselves. We are busy manifesting rather than experiencing who we are at our core in the world.

When we create from within, we can experience who we are in the world. That does not mean that we have to change what we do or have. It means we bring who we are at our core, our essence, into what we do and create from there.

Take the time to meditate. Go within. Go to your core (cor=heart). Find yourself. Find your essence. Create from within.

Best wishes, Kay

From Within

What’s Next?

dreamstime_5775817Every decade or so we go through a period of doubt, questioning or feeling unsettled. Cycles like this occur naturally. We all go through them. These cycle transitions can be smooth and uneventful, and others require more thought and decision-making. Some can be challenging. How we approach these periods is up to us?

Fred declared with grave concern that he did not feel he could continue in his business as he had before. Fred felt he was not focused enough and was deeply concerned. As an intuitive, I saw that Fred simply completed a cycle of being an active business owner and was starting a new course – nothing to be ashamed of. To force this change, that he has wanted for a while, he had a medical episode. The medical event is not life threatening but of enough concern to give him reason to change his role in his company.

Recognizing and understanding the nature of cycles in our lives is important. We create a cycle to experience some new aspect of ourselves. This desire becomes a vision, and we make goals that help us create this change. How smoothly this change of cycles occurs depends on us. When we realize that we are creating the change we are experiencing, it works best if we allow the transition. When we try to control or resist our vision, then it may take something dramatic in our lives to help us move from one cycle to another. In Fred’s case, a medical condition is an acceptable reason for changing his role in the business. Now do not get me wrong. Fred does not desire the medical condition, but it was the only way his vision could manifest.

Another client held a commanding position in a large city government and was beloved by everyone who knew him. Charlie loved his work but dreamt of retirement. He could not bring himself to quit for many reasons, but he imagined almost every day, being retired and enjoying his life with his wife. The old saying, “Be careful what you pray for.”

Charlie presents an excellent example of a new cycle being created. Charlie was clear about his vision but could not actively make the transition so how was his dream to come true. To achieve his vision, he had to get out of where he was. Consider the choices someone can make to get out of a job. They could resign. Charlie could not bring himself to do that. Too many people depended on him. He could get fired which seemed unlikely as he was so beloved or his could get sick. Charlie had a severe illness a couple of years back and had a strong determination not to be that sick again. Of the three choices, Charlie has less of his attention on getting fired, so that became the solution. Out of the blue, for no apparent reason, he was asked to resign. Charlie was shocked. I was not. He was creating a new cycle but was preventing it from manifesting, so the universe created his desire the only way possible.

Most if not all my clients come to me when they are ending a cycle, are looking to understand and navigate the changes they have set in motion. We are always getting our goals. Sometimes we get in our own way, so the change needed happens more dramatically. To transition from where we are to our vision, begins with being conscious and aware of what we are imagining or desiring. Whatever we imagine is being created one way or another.

Being mindful, spending time being quiet or in meditation, staying in communication with yourself and being conscious and aware of what you are imaging, are all steps to creating transitions rather than our transitions being forced on us.

Take time today to stop, be clear about what you imagine for yourself. Write it down then note what needs to change and what is happening to give you what you imagine or desire. Be in charge of the next cycle of your life.

Best wishes, Kay