The most common reason people call for a consultation is they have a decision to make and they want to get it right. We all want to be certain about the decisions we make but is not always what happens. Neurologist Robert Burton believes our brains often manufacture a sense of certainty that we are right whether that is the case or not. This happens because the brain has the ability to create a feeling of being right even when we are drastically wrong. That is scary and we have all had this happen to us. How often have your said or heard, “What was I thinking?” I often tease that the brain has a mind of its own and makes up incredible stories that simply are not true.
From an intuitive perspective it is easy to be a better decision maker. When people call about making a decision they say:
- I feel one-way one day and the opposite the other.
- I can’t decide.
- I have three thoroughly logical decisions and I can argue each of them equally.
- I want to feel absolutely certainty about this decision.
- I can’t find a good decision. I don’t like any of my options.
- I have made a decision but it doesn’t feel right.
- All the facts say I should decide this way but my intuition tells me otherwise.
Is this a decision you need to make?
Would it surprise you if I said, “Most times there is no decision to be made”? Or that decision making is overrated. Knowing when not to make a decision is just as important as making the right decision. For example, Should I quit my job? Should I move? Should I hire or fire Suzie? When I hear a question like this I know the person is not ready to make a decision OR they are asking the wrong question.
When someone has a decision they are struggling with my question is always the same. What is your goal or the vision you have for your company? That is always the starting point. If you don’t answer that question first then you are building a Winchester Mystery House of decisions and not a successful business.
Decision making from an intuitive perspective
When we have a clear vision of our success and a plan to get there we barely realize the decisions that we are making all day long. We gather the facts and information and if it supports our goal then we make a decision without a second thought. You don’t call me. Everything is moving, as it should.
When decision-making is difficult
When we get out of sync with our vision, lose our perspective or someone places a demand, their energy or a problem in our space suddenly we feel like we have a difficult decision to make. When you hear yourself say, “Should I…..? you know you have lost your perspective so it is time to stop and not make a decision from that space.
What gets in the way of having perspective?
When we are overwhelmed by energy in our space, cannot see straight or think clearly we are not in the space to make a decision. So what can affect our ability to see or think clearly?
- Other’s energy or concepts in our space.
- What others want you to decide
- Others reactions to what you decide
- People who have investment (or energy) in your decisions
- Ego: Our ego can easily get in the way of making a decision that helps meet our goals
- Past experiences, memories, energy or thoughts clouding our perspective
- Our fears or emotions
- Resistance to change
- Wanting to stay in our comfort zone
- Wanting to please someone or everyone.
Knowing what affects your decision-making ability makes you a better decision maker. If does not feel right then step back, get more information, find other choices or realize its not a decision you need to make. Having perspective means seeing clearing and being able to step back and look from a neutral place. Making good decisions means being aware of your vision and what is affecting you in the moment.
Recognizing when you have lost your space (perspective)?
You have lost your space and your perspective when:
- When you feel pushed to make a decision.
- When you feel yourself reacting to someone or something or everyone and everything.
- When you hear yourself say, “I should…” This is always a red flag that we have lost our perspective.
- Can’t decide. Arguing one-side then the other. Or keep changing your mind.
How to Make Good Decisions
Here is an intuitive approach to making better decisions. Make sure you have a clear and neutral perspective when making a decision. If it seem difficult even after having all the information that you need then stop thinking.
Stop Thinking: If the decision was logical based on available information then you would have already made the decision without effort. So the answer cannot be found in logically. Robert Burton, a neurologist, shows studies that indicate our thinking can be dead wrong. Another study showed the more we think about something the more inaccurate we can become.
Find your space/Regain your perspective: Take the time to meditate. Everyone whines about this but this is the best way to regain your perspective. How are you doing? What is on your mind? Who’s in your space? Are you clear thinking and in a space of neutrality?
Take the time to be clear about your goals or vision of success. Ask, “Will this decision help me meet my goals?” If the answer is “No” then whose question is it or whose problem are you solving?
- Find a quiet and comfortable place to close your eyes
- Take a deep breath and begin to bring all of your attention on yourself
- Calm your body and clear your mind
- Be grounded and centered
- Imagine (do not think) the decision you are about to make
- Meditate on one decision versus another. Use your intuition to begin to clear your thinking
- Let go of others’ energy in your space about this decision
- Take deep breaths and release
- Once you are calm and quiet and you feel clear then ask yourself what is the right decision (even if it makes you uncomfortable in some way)
- Listen to your first thought because the thoughts after that will be the mind arguing with you
Best wishes on your success, Kay